Depression BEFORE Diagnosis for Sleep Apnoea

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Permalink Reply by paula jones on August 30, 2011 at 19:29

Awww Thanks Rosemary x x x

Rosemary Kemp said:

That camera up the nose is totally horrible Paula! I think that we are likely to stay depressed on and off because there is not a cure as such. I hope things get better for you!

 

Rosemary

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Permalink Reply by Jackie on September 13, 2011 at 0:22

Ouch what food for thought - which came first for me ? the chicken or the egg - been trying to think about it.

I do not know how long I suffered from OSA and for a few years my snoring became so bad no-one could sleep in the same room and I could be heard downstairs - throughout the house ...

I have several disabilities and have gone through some horrible traumatic things over a number of years but the worse hit on my body and mind that I could not do anything about was around the year or two prior to diagnosis and treatment and I was grinding to a mental and physical hault, quite literally, I could barely stagger around (even with my walking stick) and was more of an automoton than human ...

one of my 'ailments' specialists told me I must avoid stress .... so I get stressed about avoiding stress ..... worse thing you can do isn't it?

I know that I have never been what you would call a good sleeper,

so I have decided I  am not going to worry which came first ....

what I do know is that although I slip into a slide down, I usually manage with the help of friends to climb back up - okay never to the top, but close enough to carry on.

We all need people to care for us, and for us to care for others. I hibernate away when I am sliding and yes I get more and more exhausted while doing it .... and it is my friends who pull me up. Yes I take medication but I feel it doesn't stop me sliding, but helps on greasing the up slope and stops me crying all the time.

Strangely enough excercise is one of the best ways to help beat depression and stress, yet is one of the hardest things to be motivated to do when you are feeling that way, so if you are able to or get a friend to encourage you that can help quite a lot. It gets the grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr memory block here ... the good feeling thingies going ....

One of my friends used to visit and put on an gentle exercise dvd and we used to have a laugh trying to do it - that is a boost laughing !

I have said it before, but holistic therapy can help with stress and depression. It won't cure it, it just becomes easier to cope with it and it makes you feel better within yourself.

Hug your loved ones and your friends, doesn't matter how many you have, just hug them and remember that somewhere in this world there is some poor devil far worse off ....

 

maybe I should have put a warning on the beginning of this .... do not read if you suffer from depression ...

so would anyone have read it if I had? nah, we are all human and we all suffer at times .... just try to make sure you don't suffer all the time !

HUGE HUGS XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

and going to bed ... now quite cross eyed (can you be crossed eyed with one eye???? answers on a post card please ................... lol

so please forgive my ramblings - not feeling depressed at the moment ... though perhaps from my post you would not know it lol.

 

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Permalink Reply by Kath Hope on September 13, 2011 at 12:24

Jackie, your great sense of humour is to be admired, bearing in mind all that you go through.  Thanks for opening yourself up to us and sharing all of this, which will help others as they read it too :)

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Permalink Reply by Rosemary Kemp on September 13, 2011 at 17:41

You can only do your best Jackie. Certainly don't get depressed about the fact that you have been depressed or have a tendency to being depressed! It's like being stressed that you can't fall asleep - which stops you from falling asleep (as you sort of said!)

I find my gym to be totally brilliant. Once I got over the embarrassment of being the worst there at first (the slowest, the most hopeless, the fattest, the least fit) I discovered that I am no longer the worst there and everyone is so nice to me that I am even starting to enjoy the process. The best thing is the amazing salad they make in the cafe for after my session - that and the gorgeous skinny latte (which I know I am naughty about because I have an extra shot!) Now, that is something to feel happy about because it us so yummy and costs so little! They don't make a profit as far as I can see. It truly is a service to the community. It helps to beat the depression when it hits and the exercise itself also makes the body feel good as you say.

I was certainly depressed before diagnosis but like you my body was shutting down and I always felt like I was dying. Literally. I was also like an automatom and didn't know how to make a start on improving things for myself. It had all started to feel impossible for me.

I used to use a gadget to lift one leg into the car and then drag the other one in after it. The seat belt almost didn't do up I was so wide. The inertia reel certainly didn't work and I couldn't move around. My belly rubbed against the steering wheel even in the adjusted position.

Chairs with arms used to attach themselves to me like an extra four legs. I sure was depressed. My metabolism was at nil and the thyroxin medication made little difference to how I felt or the weight loss.

The beta blockers made me really tired in the large dose and the fluid tablets made me lose muscle strength in my arms and legs, which was particularly hard for a concert pianist. My enormous boobs meant I couldn't play cross handed. (Daft but true!) I'm sure I've said all of these things before on the blog but the depression is bound to be close by when things are so bad for you. Anyone who has these sorts of problems and isn't depressed is strange as far as I'm concerned.  

I can't imagine how horrible it would be to feel like that again but we can't afford to become complacent. Last night I got very little sleep despite being on my new apap machine and everything being sorted out in the house. I should have had peace of mind and been able to fall asleep, doing my weird breathing into the mask. Not so. So I suppose we have to take the bad with the good and as you say, try to remember that someone is sure to be worse off than us. Having said that, it still doesn't stop me going off the straight and narrow with food every so often despite telling myself that there are people in the world who are starving! That's because I'm human. (My excuse and I'm sticking to it!)

Speak later on another topic no doubt. Stay cheerful and keep on writing the humourous things that cheer us up.

Rosemary x  

 

 

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Permalink Reply by Jackie on September 13, 2011 at 21:59

Thank you kind ladies, you add brightness to my life

 no cyber bouquet handy but here is a pic that cheers me and is bright xxxx hugs Jacks

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Permalink Reply by Kath Hope on September 13, 2011 at 22:13

Aw, bless you Jackie x

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